Sunday, November 14
five days from now i'll be trying to decide whether to scream or cry. for joy. strangely enough, i always thought i'd be mugging super hard by the time o's rolled round. then again, i imagined myself studying like crazy for prelims too. now we're into our third lap for o's, and i'm still pretty much the same bum i always was. disappointing how life turns out eh? tskk bad me. bad habits are hard to break, good habits are even harder to cultivate. diets don't last longer than a couple of days for me, and the only exercise i get these days is tottering about on my heels. and somehow i get a real kick out of sounding like an airhead. =D
the pastor was preaching on divine appointment today. and on the way home i stopped to help someone. it's nice to help someone who really needs your help somehow.. maybe because it's more blessed to give than to receive. but in this world, it's kinda hard to tell the difference.
i guess you have to be honest with yourself about your intentions. like what all those white lies are for. are you lying to avoid facing up to the ugly truth, or lying to shield someone from something she doesn't need to know? and sometimes i wonder.. if i'd be happier not knowing some stuff. living life a day at a time, the pieces don't always make sense.. but there'll come a time the jigsaw pieces fit perfectly to form a beautiful picture. i can't wait for that day. when i'll know the reason why things turn out the way they do. for one, i'm really interested to know where this path will lead, if i take it. i guess i seem like an utter fool, changing courses completely every two years. first triple science, then arts. but both lead to psychology, which is my ultimate goal. i don't regret anything. maybe at first i was frightened by my own decisions and mistakes, but even those mistakes are turning out for the better. it's really better this way. in the course of a lifetime, o's won't matter. cos what really matters is that you're contented and happy.. and that has more to do with yourself than anything else. in the course of a lifetime.. what
will matter to me will be hearing your kids call me aunty mel. okay, strangle me! =) i'm gonna have three kids and a dog, all adopted. wahhaha.
i cannot wait for friday i cannot wait.. the year has flown.. the minutes drag.. when you'e supposed to be studying time flies. when you're sitting around twiddling your thumbs and staring at the calendar waiting for friday, it all seems so far,
far,
far away. i don't give a damn about o levels now! i just want to get it over with. though i know with this kinda attitude i'll get f9 for phys, amath and chem. but.. aiyah.. ss is screwed already.. which screws my entire humance.. which screws my L1R5.. which screws my jc admission.. so who cares if i screw phys and amath and chem to boot? i refuse to regret anything more. just live and let live and find some sense in this crazy world.
it must've been love.
4:51 pm
xoxo
